By Ric Shriver

Recently I have had some time to reflect on my career and the experiences I have had, both good and bad. My reflections helped me to see how addressing both innate potential and passion is something we need to do to function at our best.

In one of my executive human resources management roles, I was charged with recruiting, selecting, and onboarding some key executives for our finance and information technology departments. Because these areas were vital to our continued growth and success as a business, I wanted to exercise appropriate due diligence in the search process. To best determine the full potential of the finalists for these key executive roles, I engaged the help of a local industrial psychologist to administer a battery of tests and assessments for the finalists. The results of those assessments provided me and our senior executive officer with valuable insight into the selection decisions we would ultimately make. One of the measures we assessed was the conceptual and critical thinking abilities of the candidates. A high level of problem solving, critical thinking, and intuitive judgement would be required for the positions we were filling, and we needed to ensure that whoever we offered the positions to could perform at the highest levels of competence. The assessment process was a success, and the candidates we offered the positions to did meet our high standards and ultimately were able to make significant contributions to our organization. A process well determined and of significant value to our organization!

The process and tools I described in the preceding paragraph intrigued and impressed me to the point that, if I was going to continue to follow a similar process for future executive or high-level leadership roles, I wanted to experience the assessment process for myself. So, I engaged the same industrial psychologist to assess my own capabilities and to provide me with a full report on how fit I was for the executive role I was in. The psychologist’s report was both insightful and unsettling. What I discovered is that while I did possess many of the “soft” skills leaders should naturally demonstrate, my conceptual and critical thinking capabilities were determined to be “high average”. For my role, which was comparable to the other executive roles that I had been filling, a much higher level of critical and conceptual thinking potential was required. My self-image was deflated.  I felt that I lacked the potential to continue to perform at the executive level. And at the time, instead of listening to and being guided by my conscience , I planned my own departure from the role that I had been successfully performing for several years – a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Choosing the best paths for our careers can be tricky. We find ourselves torn between understanding what our true potential might be and pursuing roles that far exceed what we thought we might ever be able to perform successfully. The fact is that most of us rarely can fully understand what our potential might be for certain occupations and industries. That is why seeking the guidance and wisdom of a higher power (if you are so inclined) or the sage of a respected mentor is so critical. Our conscience and/or our trusted mentor may call upon us to pursue something that is far beyond our “comfort zones” for performance. What I think is critical for us as leaders to be aware of are the obvious expectations certain roles have, the demands they may place on us, and the balance we strive to achieve between our occupations and our personal lives. Our aim should be to secure a sense of spiritual and emotional peace. Cognitive dissonance occurs when what we are perceiving and experiencing is far beyond the expectations we may have had for the roles we have found ourselves in. The altered perception creates both emotional and physical reactions that, for most of us, are considered undesirable and contrary to a sense of peace.

So, in summary, knowing ourselves, our passions, our natural strengths and limitations is critically important. But having the willingness and determination to take full advantage of our passions and natural talents is also critically important!

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By Ric Shriver

I was meeting with several leaders and professional staff on a corporate campus several months ago, enjoying controlled, productive, and generally positive conversations with well-respected individuals who shared a common purpose, values, and business priorities.

I was wrapping up a final meeting with a couple of functional leaders when alarm bells started ringing through the office intercom followed by a firm and controlled announcement that employees throughout the corporate campus should quietly and quickly retreat to a secure office or room, locking the doors behind them. A brief explanation was provided indicating that a local law enforcement issue was at hand and that all employees should remain safely locked behind office or room doors until further notice! Yikes!

The functional leaders I had been meeting with led me to an open office, ensuring that the three of us were safely inside the office before locking the door. But before we could close and lock the door to the office I heard and observed what appeared to be a senior executive for the business running up and down the hallway, yelling to everyone this person saw to “get into a safe place – NOW!” I also observed this person literally slamming the office doors behind the retreating members of the staff. While we didn’t know for sure what the nature of the law enforcement issue was, we were guessing that an active shooter was present, taking aim at the corporate campus staff – a rather unsettling potential threat which we all agreed needed to be responded to in the safest and most expedient way possible.

The two functional leaders whom I was quarantined with were, for the most part, quiet and calm. While we were concerned about the circumstances and the potential threat they posed, we did our best to use our phones to seek whatever information might be available, sharing relevant information with each other as each of us received it. We stayed behind a locked door for nearly three hours until an all-clear announcement was made. Somewhat shaken by the event, we calmly bid each other a better afternoon and safe passage to our respective homes.

We later learned that there were fatalities and numerous injuries – a tragic situation under any set of circumstances and one which we hear about all too often in a world filled with growing unrest. One of the functional leaders I had been meeting with later complemented me on my calm demeanor during the crisis – I made the same observation about her. Nothing any of us could do would have made any difference to the outcome of the event, but we, along with other members of the business unit we were in, were safe. For that outcome we were grateful. My other observation and conclusion was that the observed senior executive’s shouts and perceived frantic behavior did little to calm an already frightened corporate staff.

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I had the privilege of working under the direction of a retired U.S. Army Colonel early in my career. One Friday afternoon I was asked, along with one of my peers, to spend the weekend in the office finalizing a proposal for a large acquisition our company was planning on undertaking. My colleague and I were given some precise instructions for completing a detailed analysis of complex financial data that had been pulled together during the due diligence process for the planned acquisition. While the process we were charged with was tedious, it appeared to be straightforward. Like good soldiers, we complied with the request, finishing the  analyses and documentation by mid-Sunday afternoon.

My colleague and I arrived at our corporate office early the next morning to review our work with the Chief Financial and Legal Officers for our company. My managing executive, the retired Army Colonel, was also present at the meeting. Less than five minutes into the presentation to the officers, the Chief Financial Officer dropped his pen and began shaking his head exclaiming “you used the wrong parameters to complete your analysis – this is useless for us!”  I didn’t respond well. In a rather stern and frustrated voice I threw the printout of data I was holding onto the conference table and conveyed to those present that “if the &%$#ing financial people couldn’t give us the right instructions, why the hell did we just spend the entire weekend analyzing the wrong data?!” I stormed out of the room after voicing my animated discontent. My managing executive (the retired Army Colonel) followed me out the door and into the office lobby. He placed his hand on my shoulder and said in a calm but stern voice, “calm down.” He then conveyed to me that he too had experienced some bad days, the worst of them being when he realized he had lost ten of his men in a battle during the 1991 Desert Storm in Iraq. Nothing could have shut my fiery emotions down quicker than the hard truth he shared with me during that moment – yes, that put my current setback in perspective, and I was humbled. I will never forget that moment and his calm, yet firm, message. I needed to “get a grip!”

As leaders we never know for sure what types of crises we may face in our respective roles. The scenarios described in the preceding paragraphs are not unusual, but what is not expected or appreciated by the teams of people we lead and the customers and clients we serve are uncontrolled, emotional outbursts that only compound the distress our stakeholders are experiencing. So, the watch word for all leaders is to stay as calm, collected, and cool as possible. Demonstrate confident resolve to face the crisis with resolve while conveying competence and confidence to the members of our teams.

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By Ric Shriver

“Vanity of Vanities – All is Vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun!”

These are the words scribed by King Solomon in the opening verses of the book of Ecclesiastes in the Holy Bible. These words are on my mind this week as I continue to hear about the billions of dollars that have been spent by so many different organizations on so many endeavors, most of which originally espoused worthwhile pursuits with hopes of positively impacting a variety of different cultures, people, customers, and conditions that have challenged mankind since the beginning of time. One might argue that those leaders directing the expenditures for all the various causes might have seen their intentions as altruistic, heralded sacrifices of time and energy for causes they grew to believe were worth the continued focus and investments of valuable resources.

I ask the question “so what?” What difference have any of the thousands of well-funded causes made in both the public and private sector outcomes most of us can philosophically and ideologically support but have been absent in measurable results. Millions are still afflicted with chronic diseases, substance abuse still plagues millions throughout our culture, heart disease continues to take the lives of millions, and families continue to be torn apart for a multitude of psychological and economic reasons. What truly makes a difference?

I can recall finishing my senior year of high school, preparing for what I had hoped would be a successful collegiate athletic career in track and field with the ultimate desire of attaining international acclaim as a champion endurance athlete. I assumed that, in addition to denying myself the joys of loving and enjoyable relationships, true resilience would need to be a consistent and obvious characteristic of my life, demonstrated through increasingly harsh and painful investments of physical, psychological, and emotional exertion. What I felt I deserved was continued punishment and self-cleansing, which I faithfully secured through a daily devotion to intense, cardiovascular endurance activities.

A few weeks after my graduation from high school and the severing of a high school romance, I mounted my 10-speed bicycle and embarked on a ride from Winston-Salem to Boone, North Carolina. The route that I took was not a direct route, rather I chose to take a more “scenic” route that involved several thousand feet of climbing, first up to the Blue Ridge Parkway via Elkin, N.C., then along the parkway to the Bamboo Road exit at   milepost 294. The final turn led to the end of my journey at a campground near the local Boone Air Strip.  My high school running partner and soon to be college teammate had rented a small camping trailer at the campground, and while cramped, it served as a good place to end my journey. My friend still recalls today how, when he opened the door to the camper, I fell onto the floor, exhausted from the arduous ride.

At the age of 18 I thought I was invincible, strong enough to tackle the 121-mile journey on a bicycle, that by today’s standards was too heavy and improperly geared to be used for such a daunting journey. The confidence I had to embark on the journey that warm August morning was, in my young mind, rational. Through my high school years, I had become an accomplished long-distance runner. Just a few weeks before I had won the North Carolina State High School 2-mile championship and was one of only a few high school runners in the nation who had run several sub-3-hour marathons. So, in my own mind, I was physically invincible.

I completed the ride without injury. But to this day I can honestly say that the nearly 12 hours I spent on the road that hot August day were, and will be, the most grueling hours of physical endurance of my life. It was also the most reckless, ill-conceived adventure I have ever undertaken in my life. I often think about what I might have done, or how I would have responded to, my daughter informing me at the age of 18 that she would be embarking on such a reckless journey. I would have strongly objected. And if she was adamant about taking the trip, I would have driven behind her in my car for the entire journey.

What I experienced during the first two years of my collegiate athletic career was a continuation of super-human investments of time and energy in workouts intended to build a formidable sense of resilience and psychological fortitude with the intention of “muscling” through whatever the competition might present. What transpired over the first two years of my college athletic career was a complete breakdown of my physical, mental, and emotional health with increasingly disappointing competitive outcomes. In fact, by the end of my sophomore year of college I was suffering from a lower back injury that, for several months, ended my ability to continue running with a subsequent loss of the athletic scholarship that had opened the door for my college education. Thousands of hours, thousands of miles, and thousands of dollars spent training harder and harder with disastrous results.

Unfortunately, throughout my professional career I have experienced similar “reckless” expenditures of time and energy, working on projects and initiatives that were financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting with little or no positive impact on the cultures, customers, or clients being served. These expenditures were typically the products of obsessive-compulsive leaders who felt that they were developing true resilience for the members of their teams, encouraging self-sacrifice and tireless efforts focused on unparallelled activity and volumes of tangible outcomes that provided little or no value to anyone other than to the leader driven by deep-seated emotional insecurities.

The experiences described in the preceding paragraphs beg the question “so what?” What truly constitutes resilience, and most importantly, meaningful, fruitful, and positively impactful results.  The Webster’s Dictionary definition of resilience is the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape, or elasticity. Two words stand out in the preceding definition – “recover” and “elasticity”. This implies that, while noteworthy efforts may be exerted towards a measurable goal or outcome, there is also a focus on understanding when recovery and elasticity, or flexibility, are critical. In Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges, I address the optimal performance of a radio transmitter. Maximizing power rarely, if ever, results in the best signal strength and clear reception. Atmospheric conditions, geographic location, frequency being used, and antenna length are factors that call on the radio operator to “moderate” the wattage being used based on the unique combination of these and potentially other variables. Simply put, as intelligent human beings, we must “adapt” to the conditions and circumstances we are experiencing, then pursue realistic, well-balanced strategies for success. As a college distance runner, I would have benefited from coaching that recognized the diminishing results in competition, observable fatigue, and the growing incidents of injury to the members of the team. My coaches always assumed we just needed to put in more mileage and exhausting interval workouts on the track, all of which further diminished our performance. As a human resources and organizational development leader, I would have benefited from senior leaders who called upon us to facilitate policies, initiatives, and development opportunities that positively impacted our cultures and human performance – that was rarely the case. Again, I experienced leaders who stood behind “more is better!”

And so I ask, “so what?”

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By Ric Shriver

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

Abraham Lincoln

Most of us in our current or prospective leadership roles ponder how we will utilize the various forms of power that we now, or will in the future, possess. Most of us have experienced the various demonstrations of power, both positive and negative, by leaders we have been exposed to or subject to during our careers. Based on our own personal values, beliefs, and perceptions about the appropriate uses of power, we have formed our own opinions about what is effective and what is ineffective. What I trust you, as the leader completing this year-long journey of observation, consideration, and application, have discovered is that every organization, every team, and every individual whom you lead presents unique challenges that call on us to tap into the various forms of power to inspire the best results for all stakeholders of the organization.

In my recent book Fears of A Leader, I address the inappropriate demonstration of power by narcissistic, self-centered leaders – leaders who seek self-adulation and gratification versus what is good for their organizations and teams. What I have witnessed in a few of my career roles, are leaders with obsessive compulsive disorders and narcissistic tendencies being extremely vocal, abrasive, and dismissive of the team members’ boundaries. These individuals, particularly those in leadership roles, will consistently expect to be the center of attention through their raised voices, abrasive and loud mannerisms, and their obsessive need for recognition and adoration. These individuals often engage in physical and verbal interactions with members of their teams that could constitute a hostile work environment.

John French and Bertram Raven’s 1959 research on the “Social Bases for Power” conveyed that there are five formal sources of social power:

1. Formal/Authoritative/Legitimate Power – Power derived from the position and authority we are endowed with in our respective organizations and assigned roles.

2. Reward Power – Power derived from our access to and ability to provide both intrinsic and extrinsic rewards to the people we are trying to influence or control.

3. Coercive Power – Power derived from our access to and ability to provide punishment or consequences for undesirable performance or outcomes.
4. Expert Power – Power derived from our technical knowledge of the functions, challenges, or performance issues we are trying to impact.

5. Referent Power – Power derived from our personal and behavioral attributes displayed in our interactions with others.

I add another source of power to French and Raven’s model that has become instrumental for most leaders to possess – Informational Power. We reference the importance of the appropriate use of Information in both the chapters focused on Change and Communication in Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges. So, given that we may have these six (6) general sources of power to tap into as we exercise direction, alignment, and overall execution of our assigned priorities, which source is best for us to use?

CHALLENGE QUESTIONS FOR LEADERS:

1. In your leadership role, what do you feel is your best source of power to tap into? Why do you feel that this is best for your team? Your organization?
2. Under what circumstances do you feel it is important to rely primarily on your authoritative power, power granted to you by your business and organizational structure?
3. Under what circumstances do you feel that it is important for you to rely primarily on your power of expertise, the technical or clinical knowledge you possess in your field of discipline?
4. Under what circumstances do you feel that it is important for you to rely primarily on the power of internal relationships within or outside of your organization, seeking their reinforcement and/or expertise to address the challenges at hand?
5. What sources of power have been positively and constructively impactful for you and your career? Who demonstrated that form of power? What characteristics were observed and remembered by you and others similarly impacted?

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By Ric Shriver

Over the past two weeks we have heard much about “due process” and whether it has been afforded to all those individuals technically eligible for the same. That is a big question, one which has been voiced, or grunted, since the beginning of man’s presence on the face of the earth! One could argue that when the original inhabitants of the earth first began to seek food, shelter, and companionship, there was no constitution, no bill of rights, no policy and procedure manuals to guide and govern the natural disputes that most likely occurred among the first humans. We now have more structural guidance than could have possibly been imagined among early civilizations, yet we haven’t gotten much better at resolving disputes among ourselves. I wonder why?

Several years ago, in one of my career roles as an HR leader, I was given the authority and responsibility for making final decisions about involuntary terminations that were being recommended within the organization I was affiliated with. Two of my esteemed HR Business Partners were recommending that we terminate the employment of a staff person who had willfully neglected her/his duties, placing a human life in potential danger. This was not the first infraction we had seen with this individual, and several witnesses confirmed the events that were compelling the two HR Business Partners, and the staff person’s leadership, to support showing this person the door. Therefore, I authorized the final release of this person’s employment. Unfortunately, and either forgotten or ignored by me, in our HR policy guiding employee relations decisions, there was a requirement that the final authority making the termination decision must personally interview the accused employee before finalizing the involuntary termination decision. For some reason, I did not adhere to that “procedural” requirement. And honestly, that requirement had not been adhered to for quite some time. At some point that procedural “due process” requirement had been included in the employee relations policy, and over the preceding years had been, by practice, ignored.

My procedural, due process, “oversight” became a major legal stumbling block for us. Two years after the decision to end the employment of this individual, the two business partners and I found ourselves facing the terminated employee in a federal district court in front of a jury. The issue at hand was the fact that “due process” had not been properly exercised and that, because of that oversight, we owed the plaintiff a substantial sum of money for the financial and reputational loss she/he had incurred. The trial went on for a solid week. The testimonies provided by my two business partners and me were painful, and I believe that the jury was holding us to account for not adhering to the requirements of our own policy. Fortunately for us, the judge was seeing through what “past precedent” had compelled us to do, the less than stellar employment record of the plaintiff, and the potential harm that could have been caused by her/his willful neglect. The judge ordered a “directed verdict” in our favor and dismissed the charges standing before us. We were relieved, but to this day I often wonder what the outcome of that trial would have been had the jury been left to determine the verdict.

As we consider the current “due process” dilemmas that keep raising their emotional voices in the press, as leaders we might also consider the “due process” rights of our customers, clients, and employee partners. There are many potential disputes that, based on our written policy and procedural guidelines, we might be compelled to enforce even when “common sense” would tell us to do otherwise. The attorney representing me and the organization I was affiliated with at the time conveyed to me prior to the trial beginning that, from a legal and “common sense” perspective, organizations would be wise to prepare and enforce policies based on the mission and values of the organization while limiting much of the procedural guidelines that too often as professionals we compulsively seek to document.

Another example of how  procedural “due process” guidelines may have been abused in the healthcare industry where I spent most of my career is the dilemma we faced as healthcare administrators when patients or family members objected to the direct provision of care by a member of a “protected class” of people, e.g., non-white, LBGTQ, or some other protected group of individuals under the numerous federal regulations that have been issued over the past several decades providing fair and equal treatment for those individuals.  Given our “due process” guidelines, we would typically always lean towards accommodating the requests of the complaining patients or family members. Such decisions did, periodically, raise the question of whether “due process” rights were being violated for the members of the protected class. Personally, and professionally, I preferred to defer to the individual caregiver being challenged, asking that individual what she/he would prefer to do under the circumstances. In most cases, the caregiver preferred to be reassigned to another patient rather than being subjected to ridicule and other verbal abuse by a patient or family member. However, in my own conscience, what I felt was the right “due process” thing to do was to stand behind the caregiver in question, letting the patient and family member know that we stood behind everyone of our qualified caregivers, regardless of their race, religion, social status, age, or other protected status.

So, the challenge questions for us as leaders are: 1) What are our policies and are they consistent with our stated mission and values? 2) What “due process” provisions are in place supporting those policies that may be challenging to enforce? The bigger question for all of us is “what is right” under the circumstances or dilemmas being presented, “what is right” being defined as what is best for the majority of the people being served by the leadership team. As we convey in Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges, the decisions leaders are faced with are rarely “black-and-white”, rather they are multidimensional in nature, requiring us to comprehend the many variables that typically do impact our environments and decision-making. And that is the role of a true leader – to demonstrate wisdom, well-rounded judgement, and decisions that reflect the best outcomes for the vast majority of the stakeholders of our organizations.

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By Ric Shriver

As leaders charged with facilitating change, new initiatives, and the day-to-day smooth operations of the functions and areas we have been tasked with overseeing, we are constantly challenged by the question “what motivates people to do what we want and need them to do?” The answer to that question, as we so often cite in Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges, is “it depends!” Don’t you hate to hear that?

People are all unique, driven by different motives depending on a multitude of factors which are not limited to genetic predispositions, previous experiences, personal values, perceptions of the work environment, and perceptions of the people they work with and for. There is no “APP”, no field guide, no job aid, and no prescriptive way for us as leaders to know exactly how to instill higher levels of motivation and engagement with the people we have been charged with leading.

So, what are we to do? I believe the answer lies in our innate desire to demonstrate our own commitment to the mission, vision, and values of our respective businesses. As leaders, we must affirm and picture the kind of work environment that supports the culture our mission, vision, values and strategic priorities thrive on. The question then focuses on the descriptions of the kind of culture and work environment that are regularly reinforced by a leadership team that demonstrates a belief in and commitment to that culture.

There have been numerous theories of motivation espoused by many well-known authors and behavioral scientists over the past 100 years. And I believe that many of those theories hold some value and some level of consistency as we seek to understand the complexities of human motivation. If human motivation is unique to the individuals we are striving to lead, then as leaders we must do all we can to connect with, understand, and listen to the people we lead.

One of the most practical and easily understandable models of human motivation I have leaned on over the past several years is Vroom’s Expectancy Theory. It is a motivation theory proposed by Victor Vroom, which posits that an individual’s motivation is influenced by her/his expectations regarding the outcomes of her/his actions. The theory comprises three key components:

Expectancy: The belief and assessed probability that effort will lead to the desired performance. Simply stated, the confidence level an individual has will be the most important factor driving personal performance!

Instrumentality: The belief that performance will lead to specific outcomes or rewards, rewards that possess unique value for the individual(s) being led.

Valence: The value or importance an individual assigns to the expected outcomes.

This theory emphasizes that motivation is a result of rational calculation, where individuals assess the likelihood, or probability, of achieving their goals based on their efforts and the collective rewards they anticipate receiving. But the most important factor in Vroom’s model is the first factor – the “expectancy” or probability assessed by the individual that he/she can perform the action or task in question.

For example, if you ask one of the members of your team to prepare a project plan for a particular initiative, her/his motivation might look like this:

Motivation = Probability or Expectancy (.75) x ∑ i (belief = .9) x v (value placed on reward (10)

So, in this example, the team member has a relatively high level of confidence or belief in her/his ability to complete the project plan (.75 probability on a scale of 0-.99), she/he has trust that the promised reward (a promotion!) will result if the plan is completed and presented successfully.

Given the importance of expectancy, probability, and confidence we aspire to see in the people we lead, it becomes an imperative for us as leaders to 1) clearly define the type of people and characteristics who will comfortably perform in the roles we have defined; 2) recruit and select the people who will be the best “fits” for those roles; 3) provide for a thorough and prioritized orientation and onboarding process for the people we select in order to instill a high level of confidence as soon as possible; and 4) continuously reinforce the expected performance for the selected individuals via focused, well-targeted coaching and reinforcement for strong performance.

In summary, people will be motivated if…

• They believe they can accomplish the task
• They believe that they will receive a reward for accomplishing the task
• They value the reward that they get
• They see the reward as fair.

As leaders we must seek to lead with empathy and understanding, making every effort to connect with the people we lead through active, empathetic listening and through the consistent demonstration of respect, dignity, and fairness. We must keep these skills refined as we regularly create and sustain vision, alignment, and execution for results in our respective leadership roles.

Adapted from: Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges

© 2024 Ric Shriver and Jeff Fierstein.

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By Ric Shriver

Have you ever found yourself asking or being asked “are you for real – are these results for real?” When we interact with people who are demonstrating, promoting, and conveying impressive results, particularly if they are attempting to influence us to take some action in their favor, we may find ourselves asking that question. As human beings we seek the truth and authenticity! Unfortunately, we are living in a world that is seeing increasingly more deception.

I recently observed someone I know conveying the results of a project they had worked on which, from my perspective, had been a total waste of time and money. Those impacted by this project have told me directly that there was very low perceived value in the outcome of the project, yet what was being conveyed by this individual was just the opposite. From their perspective, the project had been a huge success as demonstrated by the time, money, and resources expended and the impressive number of people supposedly impacted. It just wasn’t true, yet this person was receiving accolades for the outstanding effort! It was a classic example of “form over substance!” The charts, slides, and graphs all looked impressive, but nothing was being said about the impact on human behavior or critical metrics for the business.

Growing up in the Midwest I would hear the expression “the proof is in the pudding” used frequently when confronted with whether a planned effort would be worth the investment of time and money being requested. The expression was a representation of a strong cultural value that favored real results versus an exaggerated and inflated focus on the activities and means being deployed for often questionable results. As leaders, we are regularly faced with decisions about the deployment of resources that will have a real and positive impact on the metrics that reflect our degree of value to our organizations. If what we are spending our time and resources on is not driving the outcomes our customers, clients, and other key stakeholders in the organization are needing and expecting, then those efforts, as impressive as they may look, are misguided and “fake.”

As a nation we are facing a perilous crossroads, one which we had to confront but one which is forcing us as a nation to make some painful choices. Our economy has been on a collision course with disaster, a course which would ultimately lead to bankruptcy, loss of employment, unimaginable supply shortages, and most likely civil unrest.  For too many years our politicians (on both sides of the isle!) were lauding large investments of time and financial resources to pursue ideological, untested goals and outcomes without any real proof of positive impact or results. Trillions of dollars have been wasted on activities and programs which have contributed to runaway inflation, a devalued dollar, loss of employment, and a diminished balance of trade with the rest of the industrialized world. As a nation, we have lost credibility and stature as a respected and positive global power. Yet, as decisions and actions are now being made to correct these wasted efforts and expenses, we are hearing a large outcry from many of the nation’s populus that the financial and psychological pain is too much to bear.

When, as human beings, we make conscious decisions to confront and deal with patterns of behavior, past decisions, or conditions that are not sustainable, there will be pain. Ask those who have successfully recovered from life-threatening addictions if they experienced pain when they started down the path of recovery. If realistic expectations are not made, if social and emotional support is not secured, and if the ultimate goals and positive outcomes are not regularly reinforced, we can too easily “fall off the wagon” and find ourselves continuing the path of self-destruction which we have been on.

That is why today I am convinced, now more than ever, that we must “get real” as individuals, with our teams, in our businesses, and as a nation to focus on real, relevant, and meaningful results. The quick “shiny object” sugar fixes that we are too often distracted by must be ignored and replaced with real, authentic, and practical actions and initiatives that produce tangible, relevant, and valuable results for the customers, clients, and stakeholders of our organizations. The desire to be real and seek meaningful results requires discipline, a holistic approach to managing our lives and businesses, and the support and involvement of our friends, families, teams, and our organizations.

Are You For Real…or a Fake?

You’re a Fake if you…                                                       You’re Real When you…

Lie about your results                                                             Demonstrate meaningful results

Mistake effort and resources spent for real results          Show effective use of resources for results achieved

Use hyperbole to gaslight contrary opinions                     Support your results with relevant facts

Sugar-coat your contributions                                              Secure truthful testimonies from those impacted

Choose form over substance                                                 Give full credit to your contributors

To read more about holistic, objective approaches to strong organizational performance, I encourage the reader to secure a copy of our book Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges!

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By Ric Shriver

I went for my monthly haircut this morning. The nice thing about being “semi-retired” is that I can schedule the monthly haircut on Monday mornings shortly after the hair salon opens. This morning, I was the only customer in the salon which gave the hairdresser ample time to engage in a conversation with me. I asked her if she was the manager of the shop (there was only one other hairdresser present and she was engrossed in her mobile phone). My hairdresser replied “no, but I used to be the Assistant Manager, and I didn’t like it – nothing but headaches. But at least I wasn’t THE manager – I didn’t have to take the heat for things that were not going well!”

“Well, that’s true!” I replied. I just retired this past year from being a manager, and I’m glad for the time that I now have to do what I really love to do, and that’s writing!”

“You’re writing? Writing what?”

I told her that I have written two books and was working on a third one. “What are they about?” she asked.

I replied “leadership.”

“Well let me just tell you, I hope you wrote something about “gaslighting!” I hate it – it’s a very bad thing!”

“Hmm?” I replied. “What does gaslighting mean to you? How have you experienced it?” She struggled with a reply.

“I’m not sure – I just know I don’t like it! I think people gaslight to maintain control,” she continued.

I conveyed to her “well, I did write about gaslighting, and my thought is that people who use gaslighting do it to not only maintain control but also to shore up their own fears and feelings of inferiority.” She decided to change the subject to vacations – I was fine with that. The conversation reminded me that communication between and among individuals can be challenging…and draining! Better to focus on something pleasant.

As we think about the priorities of leadership and managing the outcomes of the enterprise, what comes to mind is the importance of effective communication. Without it, everything comes unglued. As we indicated in Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges, when communication is not effective “moles” (i.e., problems) pop up when least expected, creating disharmony and conflict and leading to unwanted outcomes for the business. Interpersonal communication can be the most challenging and can often lead to the worst outcomes!

The purpose of effective communication is to ensure understanding and, most importantly, inspire or cause a desired set of actions to achieve well-defined outcomes. We trust that you can look back on initiatives, challenges, or key actions that went well for you because of effective communication and resulted in outcomes that met or exceeded those of the key constituents and stakeholders of the organization. However, if you are like many leaders, there are examples of times when effective communication was lacking, which resulted in undesirable outcomes and damaged relationships.

As we think about communication, we see that it affects almost every aspect of the business. Many associated topics come to mind: team collaboration, productivity, employee engagement, conflict resolution, employee performance feedback and development, organizational alignment, cultural effectiveness, change management, customer service and relations, goal setting, problem-solving, decision-making, workplace safety, and the list could go on and on! The question that perplexes us is, “What is effective communication?” The simple answer is: any communication that results in desired outcomes for the parties involved or affected.

As I reflect on the conversation I had this morning with my hairdresser, I am reminded of one of the worst communication experiences I had during my career. I was a member of an executive leadership team for a large national company. I was sitting with the other members of the executive team reviewing the most recent month-end operating results. At the time we were experiencing some challenging trends with some of our key “people” indicators, and I was feeling quite a bit of pressure to get those indicators back on a positive track. Another member of the executive team, who was known for being outspoken and often without verbal “boundaries”, launched into an aggressive, hostile verbal attack against me and the members of my team, conveying to the rest of the executive team that there was very little accountability for performance and results with our team due primarily to my lack of leadership. The presiding executive for our team acknowledged this individual’s comments by nodding and verbally confirming her/his observations. My ego was damaged. While I controlled my disagreement with the accusations, I was visibly shaken by the attack. Recognizing that I would not win a verbal altercation in the setting that we were in, I sat quietly until the meeting was adjourned. To this day I can still feel the shame I experienced that afternoon, and I still harbor resentment towards the accosting member of the executive team and the executive leader who, without any evidence or further analysis, quickly agreed with the aggressor’s accusations.

As leaders, we will no doubt face hostility and aggression similar to what I have described in the preceding paragraph – it is no fun, and it can damage our self-image and attitude. There are times when negative feedback may be warranted, and we must accept the criticism that is valid with the intent of learning and growing from it. But aggressive, hostile verbal attacks like the one described above are never acceptable, and we should remind ourselves when tempted, to refrain from such hostility. The type of aggressive, demeaning verbal attack described above is “gaslighting” and does not deserve to be taken seriously. Let it bounce off your conscious mind, recover, and go on!

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In the famous line from the late Kenny Rogers’ classic song “The Gambler,” the choices we have about how to play our hands in a card game rings true for how, as leaders, we manage the many ways conflicts arise in our work environments. No doubt some of you have experienced negative outcomes from conflicts you have been engaged in. In some cases, you may have even felt that your jobs were in jeopardy because of an ongoing or single significant conflict you may have experienced. One of the more energetic and outspoken executives I worked with during my career said, “If you are doing your job and executing as expected, after 5 to 7 years in your job, you will have had conflicts with enough people to put your position in jeopardy.” That leader was so right!

Should we shy away from conflict? The answer is a resounding “No”! Conflict is inevitable in our work environments. The key to effectively managing conflict is to fully understand the root causes and, with the other parties involved in the conflict, work together to construct  mutually agreeable resolutions – (much easier said than done!) Three key factors drive our natural response to conflict: 1) our ability to comprehend the nature and causes of the conflict, 2) our personal values as they relate to the conflict and the issues involved, and 3) our subconscious, natural tendencies for engaging in conflict.

The Root Causes of Conflict

As human beings, we all possess unique perspectives and beliefs about how decisions should be made, how problems should be solved, what the outcomes of certain actions should look and feel like, and what is best for the organization and the customers served. When we enter a conflict with other parties, we must seek first to understand the perspectives and motives of the conflicting party(ies). That requires active listening in a non-threatening, calm environment.

Personal values and beliefs influence how we manage conflict. Our values are a unique combination of the environments we were raised and grew up in, often modified by the unique and often significant life experiences we have been exposed to. But beyond our personal values, the big question that must ultimately be answered is “does my business culture place more of an emphasis on tasks and results or on people and relationships?” Answering that question may ultimately shape the nature of the conflict resolution process. If your organization places a higher priority on tasks and results, then a more confrontational approach may be necessary. If your organization places a higher priority on people and relationships, then a more collaborative and tempered approach will be called for.

Our Natural Conflict Styles Can Impact Our Approach

A self-assessment and conflict styles instrument I have used successfully with many different groups and individuals is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory (1974). Through a process of self-discovery and team transparency, those teams I have worked with have addressed chronic and disabling conflicts they may be experiencing by examining their natural conflict tendencies and understanding the circumstances and forces creating the conflict. Once the influencing forces are understood, the team members can discover an approach to developing and implementing sound strategies for addressing the conflict in ways that benefit the enterprise and are consistent with the cultural expectations for resolving conflict.

We rarely approach unexpected conflict in a collaborative mode, and that is why leaders need to know what their natural tendencies for dealing with conflict. The Thomas-Kilmann Inventory categorizes the natural conflict styles, or tendencies, into five different groups: Competing, Avoiding, Accommodating, Compromising, and Collaborating. If we are aware of what our natural conflict styles are, we can adjust our styles to respond appropriately to the situation. That is why the “deep breath” pause is so often the best initial approach to conflict. The pause gives us time to think through how to manage the conflict in the most productive way.

Our Natural Aversion to Conflict

I have observed that most people in the workplace are conflict averse. Although sometimes an effective style, “avoiding” conflict can be detrimental to the welfare of the individual, the team, and the organization. In Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges, Jeff Fierstein describes a conflict that he experienced:

“I worked with a team member who created a great deal of conflict with me. As I was told, they applied for my position at the same time I did but did not get the job. Someone told me that the other person was disappointed not to have been chosen. They would often go over my (and my boss’) head to talk to the Vice President of Operations to propose new programs without my knowledge. The Vice President told them to speak with me about the ideas each time, but they never did. As I implemented new programs, they did whatever they could to undermine the programs’ success. Twice, they manipulated leadership into putting newly developed programs on hold. I had several discussions with this individual, trying to understand the root of the conflict. I used a Compromising style and then a Competing style. Neither worked. The Vice President was unwilling to intervene to manage the conflict or make a decision on the programs. This toxic person was working from jealousy about someone else getting the job. They were self-centered and thought more about themself than the business – and management let them get away with it.”

It’s amazing that with all the conflict management training we have provided employees and leaders over the decades, we are still not good at resolving conflicts. For a manager to condone a team member for creating conflict (as described in the preceding paragraph), one can understand the culture of this organization – and it’s not a productive one! Organizational cultures are no less susceptible to such behaviors and practices. We tend to behave like our leaders and how they expect us to act.

Patrick Lencioni, the author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team (2002), believes that fear of conflict keeps teams from achieving commitment, accountability, and results (as well as damaging trust within the team). Lencioni argues that conflict can be managed in healthy and constructive ways to create and positively influence a thriving team. While it can be managed, our fear of dealing with conflict also exists. In one large manufacturing company I was familiar with, participants were expected to “challenge” each other about work processes, customer expectations, and quality. This challenge expectation was a form of “controlled conflict.” In most organizations, this approach would be unwelcome and ineffective. In this company it was an endorsed, constructive practice that promoted innovation, collaboration, and continuous improvement. So, if it is handled constructively, organizations can use conflict as a productive tool.

As we enter the new age of work, the ability to manage and resolve conflict will become critical. With the dissolution of the command-and-control, authoritative leadership style, conflict suppression tactics like the scenario Jeff describes above will be replaced with an earnest effort to utilize a more practical, collaborative approach for managing conflict.

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Toxic cultures are created and sustained by toxic leaders. The unfortunate reality we face in today’s business environment is that toxic cultures are often celebrated and held in high esteem. For leaders with a conscience, the presence of toxic cultures in many industries reflects the psychological and emotional warfare that has infected increasingly more homes, communities, and organizations.

So, what is a “toxic” personality? In Leadership Whack-A-Mole: Actionable Strategies for Leadership Challenges, we cite the following characteristics of a toxic leader:

1. Take great pleasure in pointing out the mistakes and faults of others, particularly if the others have achieved success or have received positive recognition from senior-level leaders.
2. Rarely take responsibility for negative outcomes or mistakes and will only offer apologies if forced to do so by higher levels of authority.
3. Are generally withdrawn, preferring to exercise subtle sabotage behind the scenes while coming across as respectful, policy-abiding corporate citizens.
4. Are often “syrupy sweet” around authority, portraying an air of piety and self-righteous dignity while seizing every opportunity to denigrate the reputations or character of those they perceive to be threats.
5. Will often purposely withhold information to sabotage those whom they inwardly despise.
6. Generally, resist positive change, recognizing that the proposed changes could undermine their current level of control and emotional security.
7. Will rarely take a stand or form an opinion that contradicts formal authority, always desiring to appear supportive of the direction senior leaders reinforced.
8. Will often take credit for or embellish their roles in organizational successes, even if they have little or nothing to do with the successes.

Toxic people are dangerous to us as individual leaders and to the organizations they profess to support. Toxic people often have very low levels of self-esteem. Most of us could fall prey to some of the behaviors of low self-esteem. If left unchecked, low levels of self-esteem can lead to toxicity in our own behavior. Like so many other behavioral issues we may have fallen prey to, either by others whom we work with or through our own misguided actions, toxic behaviors exist on a continuum. On one end of the continuum, toxic behaviors may be barely noticeable; however, on the other end of the continuum, toxicity can be painfully visible.

When leaders possess and demonstrate many of the behaviors outlined in the preceding description of a toxic personality, what will typically happen within the organization are the following toxic outcomes:

1. Ideological and flowery mission statements, vision statements, and values that are rarely supported and demonstrated by the decisions and day-to-day behaviors of the leaders, i.e., lots of “lip service” and a lack of authentic, transparent communication.
2. Misaligned and maligned goals, goals which often conflict with one another and do not further the published mission and purpose of the organization.
3. Blind, self-righteous perceptions of customers’ and clients’ needs – a focus on what the leaders deem what is best for the customer, often reinforced with statements like “we know what is best for them!”
4. Dysfunctional internal and external functions and processes that typically create dissatisfaction, conflict, and poor value for the constituents of the organization.
5. A growing trend towards recruiting, selecting, and promoting more toxic people. This often happens while conscientious staff and leaders are ostracized, and in many cases, outright terminated from the organization.
6. Illogical and dysfunctional organizational structures that support the proliferation of ridiculous job titles and poorly defined accountabilities.
7. Instability regarding the financial health of the organization is often covered up by unethical, and in many cases, illegal maneuvering and manipulation of financial practices and transactions.
8. Improper, unethical, and often illegal practices and behavior among members of the leadership team which are allowed to occur unaddressed.
9. An overemphasis on colorful and extravagant internal and external advertising, often created to compensate for the ugly truths that exist out of the view of the public, ugly truths that inhibit the value and effectiveness of the organization.

A healthy, well-aligned organization will create an environment where a leader’s confidence and attitude are reinforced and supported, providing comfort, confidence, and peace. This was observed in a leadership team gathering by a career-long colleague and friend of mine, Suzanne Hoonan:

“I was a recent guest invited to participate with a group of corporate decision-makers. It was a fascinating experience and one I have thought about at length. I wondered why I left that lengthy meeting feeling so hopeful and confident.

The group was comprised of influential leaders who exhibited behaviors that resulted in those feelings. How did they do that?

We know that a collaborative culture is based on openness, just like a lifesaving parachute. That requires transparency and trust. Energies must be used to search for solutions to challenges and leverage opportunities. No blame, no searching for guilt. Look internally as well as externally.

Leadership sets the tone – always has, always will. Passion, commitment, respect, and follow-through must be employed. Our workforce will know if these qualities are present or not. I could tell that these leaders communicated often and with purpose. They were methodical in their approach to what was communicated and how. In the end, we know that our culture and the way we interact and engage is the single most important thing we can build and maintain. Focus on it every day!” (Hoonan & Associates, 2023, used with permission)

I encourage the leader reading this chapter now to look carefully at the culture he/she is attempting to lead in. I hope that for most leaders, the conditions and characteristics described by Suzanne Hoonan are prevalent in your businesses. However, if the conscientious leader is witnessing or experiencing the symptoms of a toxic culture, I encourage her/him to begin looking for a healthier culture to thrive in. Again, no leader or culture is perfect, but on a continuum in a healthy culture, representation of the toxic behaviors and characteristics described in this article are diminished.

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